i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
