White coat. Heels.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
