Your tits are I can't wait for
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
