She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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