i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
