Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
