do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
