I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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