those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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