Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
