we're blogging at a bar
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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