eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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