Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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