absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
