Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
