Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
