This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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