If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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