dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
