Sry I called you an 8
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
