i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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