I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
