I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
