You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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