Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
the raccoons are back...
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