I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
