and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
