Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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