please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
