Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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