dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
