He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
