mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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