Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
