He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My hand turned me down
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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