In America we eat man semen.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
