Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
