Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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