This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
