I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
