She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
