idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
