mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
