So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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