remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
