I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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