that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
