Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Never underestimate the power of titties
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
