we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
