i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
